The Life & Times of Brown Sugar II

Well, I started my new position on yesterday. Thus far, it’s cool. I’m just going in with an open mind. Starting anew…. For one, I’m not going to entertain any evildoers! I think I allowed myself to get caught up in all that darn drama. Never again. Phuck those haters! AS well as anymore coming my way. Little do they know, I will smack the shyt outta them. Foreal. Don’t mess with me no moe! LMAO

But on the serious tip, I believe this is definitely a good move for me. I’m really satisfied. And let me tell you why. If you ask any body that knows me well, they can tell you that it was my goal (one of them) to become the police spokesperson. While I am not the ONLY spokesperson, I’m there. *clapping wildly* I really feel as though I’ve accomplished something. However, I’m still not thoroughly satisfied with the department. I want to get as much as I can out of my current assignment. From there I plan on moving on to other things - which include relocating. It’s funny all of this happened when I was in the middle of planning to relocate. I guess some things are in order for me. At one time, I was planning on moving back home. For whatever reason, wasn’t shyt poppin’ off there. Not to mention that everybody I talked to kept telling me, “You don’t want to move back here.” *sigh* The only reason I wanted to move back home or closer to home was to be closer to my parents. Decisions….decisions…

Now, I’ve seriously been entertaining the thought of moving back to DC. I seriously think I’m going to do it. It’s just a matter of when. I’m quite sure I can find employment. I was looking over my resume the other day. I actually have a good resume. At least I think so. *smile* Then again, who doesn’t think they have a good resume. LOL
But you know what? With all this talk of moving, I get a little nervous. Only because, I’ve been here in ATL for almost 10 years. I’ve been employed at the same job almost 9 years. But…I just can’t see myself staying here in ATL or at the same gig. But back to what I was saying, I get nervous about moving. Why? Well, I just think about how settled I am here. You know? It’s like, I’ll have to start all over….again. And that’s what I’m afraid of. Only this time, it’s not just me. I have a little boy now. I have to take that into account too. Schools, support system….etc. But….I’m also afraid of NOT making a move. I’d hate to remain where I am and be miserable. Saying….shoulda, woulda, coulda. Know what I mean?

I’m really skatterbrained right now. I need to come up with a detailed plan. Once I come up with my master plan, I need to figure out how to put it into fruition. That’s my problem. Making shyt happen. *sigh* I’ll freeze up due to my nervousness and then I’ll end up settling. Which is what I don’t want to do. I have so many thoughts, feelings, plans, etc going on in my head right now. Have you ever been like that? I’m sure we all have. I know it can be done. My linesister just moved here a month ago from Cali. She also has a daughter the same age as my son. If she can move all the way from Cali to GA, I know I can move from GA to DC. Whaddya think? I think so.

I used to be a more “together” person. It seems with age (as if I’m old) I’ve lost a little bit of my drive. I need to get back in the right gear dammit. I’ve been slipping….foreal. More than anything, I think, rather I know I’ve become complacent in my 30-ish years.
I’ll move full steam ahead for a straight month or so. Then the next thing you know, if shyt ain’t poppin’ quick enough (for me) I slow down to a minimal. Eventually, I put that shyt in park. *smh* I think I get easily discouraged these days. Where’d that shyt come from?!? I gotta get back on it doggone it!

Well I guess I’ll end my dissertation here. *glaring eyes at X* I’ve been gone for a while. I have a lot built up!