Sooo NOT impressed!
Well, I had been talking to the stripper via phone. He mentioned that he was doing a show in my hometown on Sunday. Cool. I wanted to see what we were going to be working with. Better yet, what I was spending my money on.
Mind you, I was going to be comparing these dudes to the dudes in ATL that I saw a couple of weeks ago. *still drooling* Did I tell ya’ll about that already? Oh.my.GOD.Becky! *feeling faint* If those male dancers weren’t the finest….and didn’t put on a good ass show. I don’t know who did! I had my heart set on one cat that I wanted to come up to Michigan for my girl’s bachelorette party. I got his card at the end of the night and called him a couple of days later. He said that he would not mind traveling and we discussed the arrangements that would need to be made. Well, we spoke a few times after that and then he stopped returning my phone calls? WTF?!? Of course, I kept calling him and he STILL wasn’t returning my phone calls. *exasperated sigh* To top it all off, I recommended him to my girl who was also planning a bachelorette party. He was doing the same thing to her. Mind you, she had sent him her deposit already and he still wasn’t returning her phone calls. I felt bad and even apologized for recommending him. By that time, I said, F*CK it! I left one last message telling him to disregard calling me back unless he could possibly recommend somebody else who was interested since he OBVIOUSLY wasn’t interested. *folding arms like my two year old son* Hmph! Eventually my friend caught up with him. His excuse was, he had just been really busy. He reassured her that he would be there. Ok. WTF-ever! That mug should have had a little more business ’bout himself. Know what I mean?
Anyway, I got a phone call from her EARLY Sunday morning - after the show. She said, “Brown Sugar…..Mr. ???? did a good ass job!” She was thoroughly impressed. I was happy….and jealous because now, I had already made arrangements with another stripper out of Detroit to come to our bachelorette party. *sucking teeth* Well, I wasn’t too disappointed because my stripper dude was surely going to be just as fine as MR. ??? out of ATL. Right?!? He was surely going to have a BEEEEYOOOTIFUL smile and body out of this world like Mr. ???? out of ATL. Right?!? *blank stare* So.Wrong!
Now, if you’re into the “thug love” type of thing, that’s cool. However, Brown Sugar is not. Grant it. This stripper wouldn’t be “for me” per se. BUT. I do know that ole girl - future bride - is NOT into “thug love.” This much I do know. *sigh* Like I said, I had been speaking to the stripper dude out of the “D” a few times via phone. He basically in so many words said that he and his boys were tight. Tight meaning, on point. So when me and my girl rolled up in to the spot, we both were looking around like, “Where is everybody and shit?” Eventually, the girls started coming in but the spot wasn’t exactly exceeding it’s maximum capacity. That’s for sure. I looked around at the guys. I was trying to figure out who my stripper dude was. For one, when we spoke earlier that day, he said he was coming to town earlier to get his hair braided. *screeching brakes* Stop the muthaphuckin press! No…this muthaphucka did not say he was getting his hair braided. That was my first clue right there. Damn!
Anyway, it seemed to be a surplus of dudes up in the spot with braids in their damn hair. ARGH! I should have damn known that I was going to get some thug love when he said he was from the “D.” Now, that’s not to say that every dude in the “D” represents thug nation. I’m just saying. I wasn’t exactly surprised. Sheeeit. Key reason why I didn’t go looking for a stripper out of F-L-I-N-T. I knew better. I just figured I’d have a better variety out of Detroit. Not to mention that somebody else recommended this cat! Note to self: Neva…eva, eva….take recommendations from a friend of a friend who knows somebody who knows somebody. *shaking my head* Neva….and I mean NEVA again.
I’m trying to think how I can get out of this situation. It was so bad that I even called Mr. ??? out of ATL this morning. LMAO I’m willing to purchase that airline ticket NOW! First class, even. Uhh….not that willing. LOL
Now, don’t get me wrong. Ole boy didn’t look that bad. I think it’s just the braids that got me. AND…he’s not as fly as Mr. ??? out of ATL. Damn! Ok….ok. Maybe I’m over-reacting. But tell me if I’m wrong. I mean, should one be physically attracted to the stripper of the night? I’m not saying physically attracted like I’m about to fuck yo ass tonight type attraction. But still…. Should I just work with what I got and call it a night? I mean, it is just entertainment. Right? Come on. Tell me something!!!! I’m trying to feel better about this situation. I’ve already put in my plea to Mr. ???? out of ATL. Of course, I left a message on his voicemail. We’ll see if he calls me back. Hmmm….. Do I REALLY want to pay for that plane ticket, hotel room and stripper fee? ORRRR do I want to just pay for the stripper fee? In addition to either option, I am still going to have to pay for the room we use to have the bachelorette party. I’m splitting the cost with the maid of honor. So I wouldn’t exactly be footing the entire bill.
Decisions….decisions….decisions…..
What’s a girl to do???????
Funny. I went to a bachelorette party this weekend too. No strippers. We just are stripper type women. But we partied and drank and danced on all sorts of elevated surfaces. Good times I tell ya!
But this is about you right? I held a bachelorette party in Detroit about five years ago. We went to some club in the dodgey section of town–ok, all of Detroit is sketchy. Anyway, we gave the bride a bunch of money. After about 30 minutes, we’d all grown bored with our strippers. I guess they were really good because the rest of the women in the audience were all up in arms. We were like, *yawn*.
Dammit, I keep forgetting this is about you…Keep the Detroit stripper and just get the bride crazy drunk before the stripper comes. That way, she won’t know.
Comment by Kajuana — September 5, 2005 @ 12:59 pm
Thanks for that suggestion KK. Yeah…you’re right. *making note to stock up on liquor*
Comment by Brown Sugar — September 5, 2005 @ 1:10 pm
*still thinking* As a matter of fact, I’m going to make it my goal to get every chic up in there drunk. LOL Damn…wishing I knew the recipe to hunch punch. I need some shit that’s going to sneak up on ‘em. LOL
Comment by Brown Sugar — September 5, 2005 @ 1:12 pm
*sigh..heres whatcha do….just let me dance at the party. Damn…I’ll do it for a small fee of $1000, plus outfits and other expenses.
Hehehehe!
Just kidding…Girl you should get the Atlanta Bad Boys or whatever they’re called.
Comment by Jia — September 5, 2005 @ 1:55 pm
Hey girl!!! U want something that will sneak up on folks? Lace that shit w/ Patron and call it a drunk fest! As I’m sure you know, Patron aint cheap, but Mr. Patron don’t fuck around either, hence the nick name to.kill.ya LMAO!!! Ok, so about your “thug-love” stripper…. How was his performance? I mean, if he could hold his own I would say just pay the 1-time stripper fee, get fucked up (like Kajuana suggested) and call it a night… I think your Mr. ATL stripper sounds a little preoccupied and a little ummm pricey!
~Just my advice, can’t wait to hear all about it… and you best not leave out dem HOB details neither… I want the x rated version. LMAO!!!
~smooches Coley
Comment by Coley — September 5, 2005 @ 2:23 pm
LMAO@Jia & Coley!
Honey, while the bride is on the “prudish” side, I don’t think having you dance would fly. LOL However, if I was the bride, I’d be more than happy to have ya. LOL
Coley, I’ve heard that Patron is the shit. I’ve also heard that it is quite pricey. Thanks for the suggestion. hee hee Maybe I can go ‘head and buy a bottle for my personal stash and let them sip on it. LOL We shall see….I’m thinking some 100% grain alcohol. LOL i.e. Everclear….tee hee hee
Comment by Brown Sugar — September 5, 2005 @ 3:05 pm
YEAH girl PATRON is no joke… I got sooooo sick about a month ago and haven’t touched it since! I got 2 big ass (costco size) bottles of Patron Silver at my house, I should send em fedex to ya… LOL! Cause honey I aint touching that ish for a long.long. time!!!! :~)
Ummm sup w/ the SayBox??? hee hee
Comment by Coley — September 5, 2005 @ 9:43 pm
I say, let the thug life do his thing. It ain’t that serious for you to pay all those expenses for Mr. ATL, enough for his ass to not show up and you have wasted all that money. And just mix you up some hawaiin punch, pineapples and just pour bottles and bottles of vodka in there. It can even be the cheap Taaka… People will be fugged up… Or so I had heard…
Comment by Serenity23 — September 6, 2005 @ 12:20 am
Mr. ATL is WAY too shady to be collectin’ yo dough, tips, plane tickets AND hotel room….HELL to the NAW. If you can’t do Mr. Detroit, try to hurry and find a replacement…but don’t chase DOWN a negro to pay his ass! IMO…lol
Comment by Keish — September 6, 2005 @ 9:11 pm
Hmm. Male strippers? Don’t know much about ‘em. Sorry you got a janky ass thuglet doin’ your show. My boys can’t roll into a new city w/o scouting the local talent. Kinda gets nature channel-ish after a few minutes. I bet it would be a fun job, though. *wait–looking around–did I say that out loud*
Comment by O — September 7, 2005 @ 1:33 am
Want something to sneak up on em?? Jellow shots with grain alcohol.
Comment by Kajuana — September 7, 2005 @ 12:29 pm
How does one make said jello shots??? *rubbing hands together* I’m very intrigued!
Comment by Brown Sugar — September 7, 2005 @ 1:52 pm
ummm, air fare accomodations? Ohhh, see, Imma hafta see some return on that investment, ole boy would have to be doing sumthin OUTSTANDING, and damn near illegal for me to shell out some dough like THAT.
I vote for the local skripper, if he comes up short (no pun) you can always tip light or demand 1/2 of ya money back, LOL
Comment by Wise Diva — September 8, 2005 @ 5:33 pm
ROFLMAO!!! You are thoroughly out of control… I don’t do strippers (literally or figuratively) they just don’t do it for me, I think I thoroughly detailed the reasons why in anohter comment on your site. BLECCH. LOL
Comment by Xquizzyt1 — September 9, 2005 @ 10:47 am
Not sure if the party happened yet or not but make the jello as you normally wood but replace the cup or 1/2 cup of cold water with likka.
Comment by Edwige — September 11, 2005 @ 2:20 am