The Life & Times of Brown Sugar II

Yesterday, my supervisor asked me if he could ask me a personal question. I quickly said, “No.” Then I stood there for a second and then said, “Ok…what?” He went on to ask me, “Are you dating or HAVE you dated somebody on the department?” I told him that I wasn’t dating anybody nor have really dated anybody on the department.” Of course, my question to him was, “Why?” He basically in so many words said that it was “mentioned” to him that I am possibly or have possibly been sleeping with somebody to get favortism. Do you remember a few entries back when I spoke of how I got “Investigator of the month.?” Well…it all stems from that. Ever since then, mugs have been hating big time. And why? I have NO IDEA! Every month, an investigator gets “investigator of the month.” Why should it become a big deal the ONE time that I get it? I mean, I didn’t get anything extra. No added bonus….no lunch….no nothing. I didn’t even get a fucking certificate recognizing my “achievment.” I got a fucking “memo” addressed to our zone commander stating that I got that shit for the month of July 2005. I didn’t ask for that shit NOR was I trying to get that shit. I was just doing my job. Anyway, the shit still continues. Only now, it’s being said/implied that I, Brown Sugar, am sleeping my way to the top. Rather attempting to. WTF?!? I am surrounded by some hateful muthaphuckas. All I have is my reputation and I’m not even doing anything to contribute to this developing “bad rep” of mine. I mean, I wish that’s all it took for me to advance to the next level. All jokes aside, I know I talk about sex incorporated with HOB(c) details and all but dammit, there is a line that I just don’t cross. (more…)

Ok. It’s been one week exactly. I told you that I was going to tell you about the wedding experience. The more I think about it, I probably should have written/typed this shit while it was fresh in my mind. Not that I can’t remember what went down. I just don’t have that same ANGRY energy that I had initially.

*wondering how can even begin to tell my story*

Well for starters. Let me tell you about the Maid of Honor who shall be called D. I should have seen the signs when I went home for the bride’s bridal shower. D was asking me to help her out with a few things for the upcoming bridal shower. I agreed to buy the utensils, plates and stuff like that. Well, she informed me that the bride requested that certain types of plates be purchased. She wanted some damn plates that looked like real crystal plates. WTF? I told D , that I wasn’t thinking about what the damn bride wanted and quickly purchased some damn clear SOLO plates and plasticware. D actually acted like she was damn scared of the bride. Like she was scared to go against her wishes. I was thinking the whole time, “Who’s actually planning this shower? You or the bride?” Well not only did I think it, I asked her. The Maid of Honor told me that the bride instructed her what invitations to purchase, what games to play, what decorations to use…etc. Again I say, “WTF?” The bride gave D a copy of an invitation that she wanted her bridal shower invitations to look like. Without going into grave detail about the invitation thing, just know that she ended up paying 80 bucks for those damn bridal shower invitations. When she told me that, I quickley retorted, “You are a fool.” There is no way I’d pay 80 bucks for some damn bridal shower invitations. “No way. Not when I can go to the Hall.mark store and grab about two or three packs of invitations and go from there. Hell. She could have even created one on the computer like I did for the bachelorette party. But….I’ll get to that later. Out of the 40 people she invited, only 15 or so showed up. And those were mostly family members.
(more…)

Ok so yeah, I’ve been busy as all get out. One with work. Two, motherhood. Three, with job search. I’ve really put this job searching thing in high gear. I think it ultimately came down to me knowing when enough was enough. Know what I mean? I had been thinking about making moves for what seems like FOR.DAMN.EVER.

After reading one of Kajuana’s post a few days ago….(I think it was last week) I was inspired to just do the damn thing. Stop talking about it and be about it dammit. Then once I talked to her and told her how much I admired her ability to get up and go and do the damn thing I said to myself - cuz you already know i revealed that i talk to myself from time to time - “Brown Sugar….it is high time that you make a career change. Step out there on faith.” KK…thanks for listening to me rant, rave and vent for the millioneth time about wanting to make a career change. *cyber hugs* Again, I really admire you darling! I believe it definitely boils down to me being scared to just step out on faith. I think I’m scared of not succeeding. Know what I mean? Funny thing is, I knew from the very beginning that this job was not something I could see myself doing for years. I knew from the beginning that I didn’t want to do this and that it truly, truly wasn’t in my heart. But….here I am today, 8 years later. Still doing the same damn thing. Although, I’ve progressed in my career here I’m still not happy.

I was taking this career evaluation questionaire. I came across this question.
“How long has it been since you examined your career path and measured its impact on your personal happiness?”
My answer didn’t focus on exactly how LONG it’s been but how OFTEN it’s been. It seems like every damn month I’m talking about how I really want to make a career change.
You’re probably wondering, “Brown Sugar, what is it that you really want to do?” Well let me tell you fine sirs and madams. Brown Sugar REALLY wants to break into television and/or radio production. I haven’t really tapped into either since I was in college. I moved to ATL with hopes of breaking into the industry. Things just didn’t work out that way and well, here I am doing what I’m doing today. *sigh*

***sidenote***See! I’m watching C.NN. WHY is there a plane about to make an emergency landing due to landing gear problem?!? And you wonder why the heck I’m scared to fly these days. Oh LAWD! I would have probably had a damn heart attack! I kid you not. Ok…Ok….so they made a safe landing. *grabbing heart*
***end sidenote***
What the heck was I saying? Oh yeah. Um…shoot forget it. My train of thought was totally thrown off after that sidenote. LOL Just know that I’m serious about making a career change.

I still need to get into my wedding weekend update. Just know that it wasn’t a good thing. Nothing good about it. I’ll attempt to do it prior to week’s end. Hey, if all else fails, we’ll be having an ATL bloggers drunkfest this Friday and I’m sure there will be all kinds of blogworthy material to give. LOL

~smooches~

I’m home again. This time for the infamous bachelorette party and wedding I’ve spoke of previously. However, since my last update, things have changed. One. I’m still doing the party BUT no stripper(s). Collectively, the bridesmaids are not exactly “feelin” the bride right now. Too make a long story short, two of the girl’s have given the bride the name, “Bride-zilla.” So…that just gives you an idea of what we’re dealing with. With the exception of one, each of the bridesmaids are flying in from out of state.
Nobody wants to invest anymore money into this wedding because they feel the bride is unappreciative and far from accomadating. With that being said, we’ve decided that we are not going to put anymore into it than the bare minimum. I’m just giving you all a brief synopsis right now. However, I do plan on doing a recap of this wedding weekend. To include the planning…cancellations and all that jazz. *sigh* Drama!

On another note, is it just me or is anybody else terrified when they fly these days? I don’t know what it is. I mean I know I had a lot of anxiety these past few days. I had weapons qualifications yesterday. So I was understandably nervous about that. Um…making sure I have everything that I need for this trip. Yeah. Yeah. Then there was the anxiety I had about flying. It happens to me every time I get ready to fly. I mean, from the time I book the flight until we take off and land. Sista girl is nervous pervous. Seriously. I was on the plane listening to folks talk to their loved ones on the plane via cell phone prior to take off. “I love you baby. I love you. I love you.” For some reason, I was getting irritated by them saying that. LOL I guess I was thinking about how when something tragic happens, people always say, “The last time I talked to them….blah, blah, blah…. he/she told me how much they loved me OR I had just spoken to them….blah, blah, blah…” Ok. So maybe I have issues. Forget I said any of that. *shaking head*
But seriously, that’s part of the reason why I often choose to drive to my destinations instead of flying. Because I’m more in “control.” I guess…. I really don’t know. I mean, I like the fact that I get to my destination quicker when I fly but….at the same time I’m terrified LITERALLY the entire time I’m on the plane. Luckily, Ai.rTran equipped all or most of their planes with X.M Radio so that helped me to pass the time by. They were jammin on Suite 62! *smile* Speaking of, I’m going to have to invest in getting X.M radio for my car and/or home. Anyway, back to what I was saying.

I remember back in August 2001 when I flew to Jamaica with a radio station. Of course, I was terrified because that flight was over 3 hours. LOL After an hour and a half, I’m ready to get off that mug. Anyway, prior to our departure BACK to ATL, this girl wanted to say a prayer before we took off. Oh! I forgot to say it was a chartered flight. Anyway, during this prayer she prayed that we’d have a safe flight and what not. Then she mentioned what had happened to Aa.liyah and her friends a week prior. When she sat down, one of the radio personalities got up and said, “I know a lot of ya’ll were thinking, Now why in the hell she gotta bring that up before we take off?” Everybody started cracking up and nodding their heads. Shoot…. Especially me. I sho nuff was thinking that shyt. Thanks alot chic! But sometimes, when I’m flying with somebody that I know, I’m a little more comfortable. I dont’ know why.

Well, I must be going now. I have some running around to do. The wedding rehearsal, rehearsal dinner and bachelorette party is tomorrow. I’m doing the “toy party” for the ladies. It’s still going to be a whole lot of fun. LOL I forgot to tell you about my curbside check-in. Now, some of you may not know because I believe I spoke about it in my other blog. BUT…I sell adult toys. So imagine the delight the bag checkers had while checking my bags. LOL They kept looking at me and smiling. I just flashed my pearly whites back at ‘em!

[NON-DISclaimer: ‘cause you know I’m not DENYING sh*t. LOL But. I will tell you this. If you ever read my other blog site, let me inform you that this is a typical Brown Sugar post. So yes, you might really need to brace yourselves, clutch your pearls or whatever. *smile* Only this time, I believe I am a little more “informative.” It starts off kind of normal-weird but then I take it there. You know….the typical Brown Sugar fashion. Oh yes. There’s HOB(c). *wink* I may need to start posting early in the morning instead of the late night tip. Huh? I seem to become a wee bit more candid at night. *shaking head*]

You’ve seen Jia do it. You’ve seen X do it. Now Brown Sugar is about to do it too. *riding coat tails*
Now, this is going to be a hard one for me. One, I can’t think of too many weird things about me. But dammit. I’ll try.

*tapping fingers….rubbing chin….LIGHTBULB…..faded lightbulb…..*
This is harder than I thought ya’ll.

Ok here goes….

1. Number one. Numero Uno. The ONE & only. Let’ see. The first weird thing about me is….is…. I like to eat peanut butter and honey. I mean, that’s not really THAT weird though. I’ll take a jar of JIFFY, put a few spoonfuls in a bowl (maybe more) and then squirt some honey in it. *licking lips* It actually is a delicious snack.

2. I LOVE most anything with peanuts & peanut butter combinations. Period. Favorite childhood sandwich ~ Peanut butter & Jelly sandwich. I’ll still tear one up today! Favorite ice cream - Peanut Butter & Chocolate. Favorite Candy ~ Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup AND Peanut M&M’s. Although, M&M’s don’t have peanut butter in it. *shrugs* Still has a peaNUTTY taste. Oooh. Speaking of NUTTY. Favorite cookie ~ Nutter butters. Hmm….maybe I’m a descendant of George Washington Carver. With all my LOVE of the peanut. I’m just saying! *giggles* I’ll even eat celery with peanut butter & speckles of raisins on top. *licking lips* Yummy! While road trippin in the south, I have to have BOILED Peanuts. I will usually stop in some little country town en route to some where and grab me a hot bag of boiled peanuts. OMG! I LOVE those things! Dammit. I LOVE PEANUTS & PEANUT BUTTER! Period. Point.Blank. Although strangely, I don’t really like chunky peanut butter. Go figure!

3. Since I’m on the food tip. I love eatting Cream of Wheat. I have to have some Brown Sugar. What better way to sweeten it up?!? *smile* In addition to that, I have to have some BUTTER. REEEAL butter. The combination of brown sugar, butter and a little bit of milk after it’s been cooked. Oh. Simply delicious! I can eat a bowl of hot ass Cream of Wheat in the middle of a hot summer day. Foreal. AND can turn around and eat another bowl for snack or dinner. LOL

4. I talk to myself from time to time. Not in a Sy.bil type of way. But, I will chit chat with myself at opportune moments. This usually occurs while I’m in my car driving. Usually, I’m talking about what I have to do or who pissed me off or hell, whatever comes to my mind. LOL I keep telling myself that I’m going to have to stop doing that when my son gets older. He’s going to think I’m crazy if I continue to do it. LOL Maybe it’s an only child thing. I don’t know.

*ON to the HOB weirdness!*

5. I like to watch others have sex. *gasping from crowd* What do you mean you’re surprised?!? hahahahahaha Yes. Yes. It’s true. Brown Sugar LOVES to watch other have sex. I am truly a voyeur. Sometimes I enjoy that more than having sex myself. *blank stare* Ok…so that’s a lie. But I do enjoy it - a whole lot.

*Keeping it on the HOB tip…..*

6. While I don’t exactly consider myself “bi-sexual” I do like women. Uh…some women. It’s definitely just a physical thing with women though. Like, I could not see myself kicking it with a woman and saying, “This is my girlfriend” and mean it like “Naw…this REALLY is my girlfriend.” Like we’re an “item” type shyt. Usually, my encounter with another woman involves a man. Hence, a threesome in the works. Such a wonderful thing…. *hears music….drifts off….ahhhh the memories* Anyway, what was I saying? Uh…yeah…so I like women. *shrugs* I like women??? Who’d a thought?!?

7. I LOVE Oral Sex. As selfish as this is going to sound, I’m going to say it anyway. I like to RECEIVE more than I like to GIVE. Is that really selfish?!? Not to say that I don’t LIKE to return the “favor” I just really LOVE it being done to me. I mean, I love to have my pussy licked, sucked and all that. Especially when it’s freshly waxed too. Ooowee! My pussy pulsates at the mere thought of it being licked & sucked. *pussy pulsating now*

8. Yes. I have licked pussy before. Does that answer your question?!? Will I lick pussy again? Sheeeit. I got a mouthful of pussy right now as I type. LOL Picture that shit! Now THAT’S weird!

9. I gotta be honest. Although, I don’t want a “girlfriend” per se. I do want a “play mate” who I can kick it with from time to time. You know…. go out to movies, dinner, shopping, talk, cook…wash & set each other’s hair….AND eat pussy, we’ll “play” with each other from time to time. And that’s it. No relationship type shit. It is what it is. LOL As if all that doesn’t sound like some relationship type shit. Right? I’m just saying.

10. Now that I think about it, I think that the aforementioned would be like a girlfriend. Hell. Maybe I do want a girlfriend. But I’ll tell you this. If I was to get with a chic, she’d have to be a very FEMININE type chic. I can’t get with a chic who looks like a dude. *shaking head* No.way.Jose. I like a woman for being a woman. Pretty, soft, smelling good….

11. I once let this chic fuck me with a strap-on. *shudders at thought*
One. I felt like a little bitch! It was weird. Slightly unnerving, even. The buzz I had prior to it happening made a disappearing act! Something just wasn’t quite right about that picture. Grant it, it could have been that I just wasn’t attracted to her the way I thought I was prior to her going to her closet and coming back with that damn strap-on di.ck. “What the fuck are you gonna do with that?!? You’re not going to fuck me with that!” So once she finished fucking me, hahahahaha I just laid there like a little bitch. I wanted to put on my clothes and break outta her house! *sound of me making a mad dash*

12. I like to eat Al.toids when I suck dick but I don’t like Al.toids to be eatten while my pussy is being licked & sucked. LOL

13. I sometimes like to lay in bed and rub my own nipples from time to time.

14. I’m addicted to “tickling my fancy.” I will do it each and every night if I could. Well, that is, when my Aunt Dot is not in town.

15. I really enjoy watching Porn. Typically, I enjoy porns that involve threesomes and hot lesbian action.

Can you tell I’m kind of horny right now????

Moving on to other things….

16. While I appear to be an outgoing person, I tend to be shy at times.
I express myself on paper, via email much better than I do orally. I think back to how me and one of my best friends would write each other letters in each other’s presence to tell the other what we were feeling. i.e. Why we were upset with one another…. Stuff like that. It’s like, I sometimes get so flustered and can’t get out what I really want to say AND it just might come out the wrong way. *sigh* Such a dilemma. I find it harder to express myself to people I really like and care about. Isn’t that weird?

17. I rarely sleep up under my bedsheets. I’ll wash my sheets and put them right back on the bed. However, I’ll still sleep on top of the sheets. Sometimes, I’ll sleep on top of the comforter BUT I will still grab a blanket to put over me.

18. Speaking of bedsheets. I continue to put the same sheets on the bed. I’ll wash them and put them right back on my bed rather than take them off and put a whole ‘notha set on the bed. For some reason, I love my jersey sheets. They’re so comfortable. Even though I sleep ON TOP of them most of the time.

19. I am addicted to Martin. I will watch it when it comes on at 5:00pm and then again at 10:00pm for the hour that it stays on then. I will be upset if I miss a show. AS if I haven’t already seen every damn episode of Martin. But I will ROTFLMAO as if each episode is the first time I’ve ever watched it. I can’t sleep until I watched the last episode that comes on at 10:30pm. *shaking head*

*searching for the last and final weird thing*

20. From time to time, the right side of my bed looks like a bookshelf, dresser drawer, portable closet, etc. I keep books, clothes that need to be folded and the like on that side of the bed. What on earth am I going to do when I get a man…..or woman? LMAO

Well, I had been talking to the stripper via phone. He mentioned that he was doing a show in my hometown on Sunday. Cool. I wanted to see what we were going to be working with. Better yet, what I was spending my money on.

Mind you, I was going to be comparing these dudes to the dudes in ATL that I saw a couple of weeks ago. *still drooling* Did I tell ya’ll about that already? Oh.my.GOD.Becky! *feeling faint* If those male dancers weren’t the finest….and didn’t put on a good ass show. I don’t know who did! I had my heart set on one cat that I wanted to come up to Michigan for my girl’s bachelorette party. I got his card at the end of the night and called him a couple of days later. He said that he would not mind traveling and we discussed the arrangements that would need to be made. Well, we spoke a few times after that and then he stopped returning my phone calls? WTF?!? Of course, I kept calling him and he STILL wasn’t returning my phone calls. *exasperated sigh* To top it all off, I recommended him to my girl who was also planning a bachelorette party. He was doing the same thing to her. Mind you, she had sent him her deposit already and he still wasn’t returning her phone calls. I felt bad and even apologized for recommending him. By that time, I said, F*CK it! I left one last message telling him to disregard calling me back unless he could possibly recommend somebody else who was interested since he OBVIOUSLY wasn’t interested. *folding arms like my two year old son* Hmph! Eventually my friend caught up with him. His excuse was, he had just been really busy. He reassured her that he would be there. Ok. WTF-ever! That mug should have had a little more business ’bout himself. Know what I mean?

Anyway, I got a phone call from her EARLY Sunday morning - after the show. She said, “Brown Sugar…..Mr. ???? did a good ass job!” She was thoroughly impressed. I was happy….and jealous because now, I had already made arrangements with another stripper out of Detroit to come to our bachelorette party. *sucking teeth* Well, I wasn’t too disappointed because my stripper dude was surely going to be just as fine as MR. ??? out of ATL. Right?!? He was surely going to have a BEEEEYOOOTIFUL smile and body out of this world like Mr. ???? out of ATL. Right?!? *blank stare* So.Wrong!

Now, if you’re into the “thug love” type of thing, that’s cool. However, Brown Sugar is not. Grant it. This stripper wouldn’t be “for me” per se. BUT. I do know that ole girl - future bride - is NOT into “thug love.” This much I do know. *sigh* Like I said, I had been speaking to the stripper dude out of the “D” a few times via phone. He basically in so many words said that he and his boys were tight. Tight meaning, on point. So when me and my girl rolled up in to the spot, we both were looking around like, “Where is everybody and shit?” Eventually, the girls started coming in but the spot wasn’t exactly exceeding it’s maximum capacity. That’s for sure. I looked around at the guys. I was trying to figure out who my stripper dude was. For one, when we spoke earlier that day, he said he was coming to town earlier to get his hair braided. *screeching brakes* Stop the muthaphuckin press! No…this muthaphucka did not say he was getting his hair braided. That was my first clue right there. Damn!
Anyway, it seemed to be a surplus of dudes up in the spot with braids in their damn hair. ARGH! I should have damn known that I was going to get some thug love when he said he was from the “D.” Now, that’s not to say that every dude in the “D” represents thug nation. I’m just saying. I wasn’t exactly surprised. Sheeeit. Key reason why I didn’t go looking for a stripper out of F-L-I-N-T. I knew better. I just figured I’d have a better variety out of Detroit. Not to mention that somebody else recommended this cat! Note to self: Neva…eva, eva….take recommendations from a friend of a friend who knows somebody who knows somebody. *shaking my head* Neva….and I mean NEVA again.
I’m trying to think how I can get out of this situation. It was so bad that I even called Mr. ??? out of ATL this morning. LMAO I’m willing to purchase that airline ticket NOW! First class, even. Uhh….not that willing. LOL

Now, don’t get me wrong. Ole boy didn’t look that bad. I think it’s just the braids that got me. AND…he’s not as fly as Mr. ??? out of ATL. Damn! Ok….ok. Maybe I’m over-reacting. But tell me if I’m wrong. I mean, should one be physically attracted to the stripper of the night? I’m not saying physically attracted like I’m about to fuck yo ass tonight type attraction. But still…. Should I just work with what I got and call it a night? I mean, it is just entertainment. Right? Come on. Tell me something!!!! I’m trying to feel better about this situation. I’ve already put in my plea to Mr. ???? out of ATL. Of course, I left a message on his voicemail. We’ll see if he calls me back. Hmmm….. Do I REALLY want to pay for that plane ticket, hotel room and stripper fee? ORRRR do I want to just pay for the stripper fee? In addition to either option, I am still going to have to pay for the room we use to have the bachelorette party. I’m splitting the cost with the maid of honor. So I wouldn’t exactly be footing the entire bill.

Decisions….decisions….decisions…..
What’s a girl to do???????

It’s the holiday weekend and I don’t have anything planned. I made my way up to Michigan during all the gas hoopla. Can you believe that gas was actually 6 bucks some where in ATL? I didn’t personally witness it but a few folks told me AND I saw it online. Crazy. I was planning on leaving out at the butt crack of dawn Thursday morning but I hit the highway Wednesday night. They were talking about the possibility of ATL running out of gas - period. WTF?!?

I packed up my car and said, “I’m outta here!” I didn’t feel like being caught up in the madness. About three or four hours later, I was hurting. LOL I stopped at a truck stop and went to sleep for a couple of hours. Then I hit it again. As I drove up I 75, I thought to myself, “Sheeeit…I could have used another couple of hours of sleep.” LOL It was pitch black going through the Tennessee mountains. The 18 wheelers that were still on the road were passing me by. *sound of 18 wheeler horn* No joke! Thanks to Tony Yayo, I made it through. hee hee *wiping forehead* It was rough for a minute. F*ck R.ed Bu.ll! That sh*t didn’t help to keep me awake. Well, unless you count having to piss every other exit then maybe it did help. LOL

I’m here at my parents now. Chillin. It always feels good to be home. For a minute anyway. *smile* It felt even better to see my baby boy! Ohhhh! I was sooo happy to see his little body! I just hugged and kissed him continuously. I know he was like, “Alright already!” LOL

I’m on the computer trying to get these invitations together. Anybody know where I can find some fake money? I want to include it in the invitation packet I’m mailing to everybody. hee hee Yes, I said “packet.” I just got off the phone with the lady that’s going to make the cake. As I was telling her that I needed a cake for a bachelorette party, I started to ask her if she made them any way. Before I could get my question out, she said, “I make them anyway you like them. X Rated, nasty and good.” LOL I told her that that’s exactly what I was looking for. hee hee I know her cakes are good because she’s been making our cakes for years (birthdays, retirements….any celebration).

Today I’m contemplating going to the Detroit classic game. I’m sure it’s going to be a lot of fun. I can go get my dose of black college on. *smile* Even though it’s not the REAL HU playing. LOL Hampton and….dammit, I can’t remember who they’re playing. But they’re playing. Hell, you know I’m not going to actually watch the game. LOL I’d be going to watch the band (of course) and get my socializing on. *primping clothes and hair* Oh…they’re playing Jackson State University. Sonic boom of the south. hee hee They have a good band. At least, they did the last time I saw them. *shrugs*

Well, I gotta go. I need to make some moves or something. Ya’ll take care now, ya hear? *smile*