The Life & Times of Brown Sugar II

*doing a round off* Yeah boy! Brown Sugar is back in business. I am sooooo happy. Finally. Looks like the actual problem was my damn modem. I went through phone call after phone call with Comcast. Then I was belittled by Yolanda and her HH. Grrrr….. Then Caramel Complexion replaced my Ethernet card. Only for me to bring my computer back home and the muthaphucka still wouldn’t allow me to connect to the internet. *kicking rocks* But I would like to publicly thank Caramel Complexion for all that she’s done. I even compensated her with a little toy *wink, wink* See what you could have gotten Yolanda had you and HH not belittled me?!? ha ha ha ha

After one unsuccessful try to the other, Comcast eventually said they’d send a technician out to replace my modem. So to make a long story short, ole boy came, replaced modem and I’m now back in business. *doing the Cabbage Patch….now the Reebok….now the German Smurf* LOL Can you tell ya girl is happy as hell? Only concern I have now is that my computer’s fan sounds like it’s working overtime and shit. It’s kind of loud. So…let’s see. Give it a couple of more weeks and I’ll be having another computer problem. Hell.to.the.naw! We need to nip that shit in the bud right now. Hmm….thinking who I can call to replace my computer’s fan. Uh…ok. I already utilized the services of Caramel Complexion. I may be able to back track and call Yolanda and her accomplice over here. Of course, I’ll have to give them *cough, cough* gas money since the gas prices are sky friggin high. Gesh!
Let’s see….I’m trying to think what else has been going on with me since the last time I posted. Nothing much. My son is still with my parents. I was going to go get him this past Saturday but I’m going this week. Update on my aunt…she’s still in the hospital. Her condition hasn’t changed much at all. I’m going to go home for family support. So it’s going to be a long ride to and from. *sigh* But I’m looking forward to going home and seeing my family. I have some things to finalize for my girl’s upcoming wedding and bachelorette party.

I spoke with the skrippa (stripper) today on the phone. He said he is going to make sure he takes care of us. He said we won’t be disappointed. Of course, we talked for a good 20 - 30 minutes. I had to see where he was coming from. You know, what he looked like and what kind of show he puts on. He was all hyped and I liked that. He made a comment about the possibility of me and the other women being scared to get personal lap dances. *stop the noise* Obviously, he doesn’t know who he’s dealing with. Brown Sugar ain’t hardly scared of no dingaling in her face. LOL Not even a little bit. When he said that, I quickly retorted, “Look here….trust and believe that I am not, will not be scared. Sheeeeit! Of course, he loved that response. I am too excited about this. For one, the bride-to-be has no idea that this is going down. She actually thinks that we’re going to a strip club in Canada the day before. I’m going to drop the ball a couple of days before that. I’m going to tell her that nobody is going to be able to make it. She’s going to be good and disappointed. LOL *rubbing hands together* She knows that I’m planning a “toy party” for her but she has no idea about the male exotic dancers. Ooowee! I can’t wait. You know I will have details about it upon my return. But…that’s not for another couple of weeks. Hopefully the details won’t be too grimey. LOL *shaking my head*
I do have an HOB (c) story to tell ya’ll. However, it will have to wait. I’m still trying to get over my girl Jia-uncut’s entry from yesterday. Even though it was about a chic’s Funky ass monkey, it was still filled with hand-on- booty details galore! I was loving it!I think me and Jia can do some serious damage when it comes to an HOB post. We can put both of our minds together and…and….your computers would probably explode because it’d be too damn hot! LOL Nicca what?!? Too hot for damn TV! *sizzlin*

On that note, I’m about to jet. I’m hungry as hell. I have a dinner date this evening. But GOT DAMN! That mug won’t be up my way until at least another hour and a half. I’m about to fix me a damn salad in the meantime. Of course, I’ll still be damn hungry. *sigh*

Ay ya’ll gotta go! ***smooches***

Yeah, I just posted under my “Life as I know it” category. I wasn’t talking about shyt. Uhh…don’t get too excited. I’m not about to talk about shyt in this post either. LOL I just wanted to let you know that MyNotMan (Kajuana 2004) came to visit me this weekend. He was in town for a few hours and wanted to kick it with me. He basically did one of my numbers. Remember my road trip back from DC when I left my girlfriend in the car while I made a pit stop for some HOB? Yeah…well, he rode down here with a friend who had to pick up something. So after I got off work Saturday, I picked him up and headed to the crib. I have to say that I was very excited. tee hee hee I was in dire need of some HOB. Dire need. Period.Point. Blank. *smile*

Eh….what can I say. It was….cool. Nothing more. Nothing less. I think it had been too long since we’d been together. All of those excited feelings that I used to have……thought I still had…..were not…..eh…..let’s just say, I wasn’t feeling him like that anymore. Where did the lovelust go? I mean, don’t get me wrong, the shyt was good during the first go round. However, I was straight after that. He wanted to go another round. And well…..you know I did. tee hee hee But I’m just saying, if it didn’t happen again that evening, I would have still been straight.

I’ll have to elaborate on my feelings a little later. Maybe then, I can be a little more detailed with my HOB details also. Clearly, this was not a good representation of HOB because I did not give every hand -on -booty detail the way I REALLY like to give it. LOL
smooches!!!!

But who’s counting?!? *sigh* I’ll tell you who. Me, dammit! You know a sista is up in the spot struggling without my HOME computer. This blogging from work is not cut out from me. Aside from being surrounded by nosey ass HATERS I have a shyt load of work to do.
To make matters worse, they have blocked us from checking our outside email. WTF?!? That was the only thing helping to get me by - being able to check my email from work. Actually, I can’t check my AOL. However, I can get on my yahoo. But nobody really emails me on my yahoo email address. So that doesn’t help me at all.

Well, I’m about to delve into all these darn reports. *kicking & screaming* I don’t want to!!!! Today is MY Monday. Manic Monday/Tortured Tuesday. I’ll just leave it at that. No need in wasting time talking about this hell hole. LOL I could waste my time talking about something else. Like some HOB details or something. tee hee hee

I know I already posted a few seconds ago. However, I just wanted to let you all know that I have not forgotten about my infamous HOB details. Dammit…why isn’t this copyright thigamajig working?!? Anywho…. Yes…yes. I know that many of you have become acquainted with me due to the fact that I give good HOB details. tee hee hee But don’t give up on me. As I stated in my previous entry, I have a whole lotta sh*t built up. To include some HOB for dat azz! *smile*
I see that I’ve rubbed off on some people. Whether I’m speaking with them via email, IM or phone, HOB comes out of their mouths just as easily as it comes out of mine. I got folks using my shit! See….everybody loves HOB. Well…almost everybody. LMAO I knew it. I knew it! You all are freaks! Bwahahahahahahahaha!

It has been almost a week that my computer has been broke down. I haven’t even attempted to tackle with that thang since I tried to get some over- the -phone troubleshooting from Yolanda and her HH. HH even said that my attempt to fix my computer was futile and to just unplug it, pack it up and take it back where I got it from. LMAO How encouraging was that?!? Caramel Complexion said that she would help me out too. All I have to do is take my computer over to her place and she’ll check it out from there. *sigh* Ohhh…..woe is me.

On a good note, I was on television TWICE yesterday. I was on the 6 o’clock news AND 10 o’clock news. Isn’t that just dandy? Yeah….Brown Sugar had her five minutes of fame. tee hee Although, I wasn’t on there for a good reason. I’m handling a case where an elderly woman was flim flamed. We wanted to put it out there for the people in Atlanta to see because there have actually been approximately 16 reported incidents of the same manner. I didn’t say a whole lot during our press conference but they got all of what I did say on there. I know the other detective was like, “Da hell?!? I did all that talking for nothing and they only showed a snippet of me?!?” Before we even started, they asked who was going to do most of the talking and I quickly said his name. LOL Oh well. I guess they liked how and what I said better. *shrug* I feel the hate already. First, I get Investigator of the month and now this. What next?!? hee hee Speaking of the hate, my Sergeant and I were talking yesterday before the press conference. He told me that while he and my former lieutenant were talking about the upcoming press conference, she asked him who was going to be doing the talking. When he told her I was, she immediately said, “Well you know they (other investigators) already say you show her favoritism. *rolling eyes* Bitch…get over it! I’m so tired of that shit. Anyway, he asked her which investigator told her that and she gave him a name. However, he won’t tell me. I told him that I’d just like to know because I don’t want to be smiling and laughing with a muthaphucka who is hating on me on the sly. Know what I mean? Or should I even care? Being the person that I am, it’s hard for me NOT to care. That shit will continue to fester in me until I find out who said that shit. Until then, all these muthaphuckas in this office are going to feel the wrath of Brown Sugar. I got something for their ass….. I won’t say shit to any of their monkey asses unless they ask me a question. You’d think in a profession like mine, there would be all kinds of camaraderie. But it’s not. These muthaphuckas be on some crabs in a barrel type shit. Don’t want you to succeed. Haters…haters….and more haters. *taking big gulp of my hatercide…wiping mouth* I’m not going to let ‘em hold me down. I got plans. Yep. I got plans. Now I just have to put my plan(s) into action.

On a sad note, my mother just called me to tell me that my aunt (her sister) is in the hospital. She said that the doctors are saying there is nothing that they can do to help her at this point. My aunt has been having health problems over the past few years. She’s been in and out of the hospital. However, this time it doesn’t look good. Hopefully, she will get better and pull through. When my mother called me this morning, I could hear in her voice that something was wrong. My heart immediately dropped when I heard her voice. I didn’t know what she was going to tell me. I always fear getting that inevitable phone call that a loved one is sick or has died. Before she even told me that my aunt was in the hospital, I was afraid that she was going to tell me something about my son or my father. Although, I was relieved to hear nothing was wrong with them, I was still sad to hear about my aunt.

My family is strange. Particularly, my mother’s side of the family. Not that we aren’t close or anything. Well…I am close with some and not so close with others. I had two aunts and an uncle that lived 30 minutes away from us while growing up. We used to go visit them a lot. However, they never really visited us. Eventually, we stopped going to visit them. Every now and then, if we were down their way, we’d stop by. But that was it. You see, outside of my immediate family, I’m not really that close with other family members.

I remember my mother telling me how she and my father moved up to Michigan after college and stayed with her sister until they got on their feet. Her and my father eventually got their own place and moved out. My mother told me how her sisters would laugh at her and my father because they didn’t have much at the time. They had a mattress on the floor that they slept on. One Thanksgiving, all they could afford was bologna and bread. It seemed as though my aunts were happy that my parents were struggling. Things got better for them. My dad got a job offer and he and my mama relocated to another city, thirty minutes north of there. This was back in the day when my hometown was bustling with opportunities. General Motors employed most of the city. Neither of my parents worked for GM though. At some point, my parents started working for the city. There they remained until they retired. Throughout the years, it seems that the better off my parents became, the more distant she became from her sisters. They would never call her to tell her about things going on in the family. She’d have to find out things from one of her other sisters that lived in another state.

I could go on and on about how f*cked up my family relations are and or used to be. But I won’t. It’s not to say that I’m not a family oriented person - because I am. I love my immediate family as well as those outside of my immediate family. I’ve always opened my home up to family members who’ve been in need of places to stay. Be it for a couple of days or a month or two. Shoot. I’m like that with my friends too. That’s just the type of person I am.

Why is it that people like to see you suffer? Nobody likes to see you succeed. Especially if they’re not succeeding too. But if you’re struggling, they’re happy. Like some misery loves company type sh*t. I’m not saying that everybody is like that. Because I am definitely not like that. If somebody is doing good, I am the first to congratulate and be happy for you. I mean, unless I just flat out don’t like your ass. Then I won’t have sh*t to say to you. But that’s a different story. If you’re happy, I’m happy. If you’re sad, I’m sad for or with you. If you’re mad, I’m mad with you. I’m that muthaphucka that will do late night drive-bys with you to see if you’re man/woman is creeping. And will be mad as hell too. LOL I’ll even get out there and fight that b*tch with you. LMAO Ok…ok. I digress. But I just wanted to give you an idea.

You’re probably saying, “Brown Sugar is trippin.” Naw….I’m really just venting. That’s all. These are just some of my thoughts. Although, they might not sound so put together. I’m just writing the thoughts that come to my head.
Isn’t that what this blog is for? Jotting down my thoughts? I have a whole lotta sh*t built up. LOL I haven’t even scratched the surface.

*phew* I thought I was going to have some issues with Blogsome. I tried to post on here earlier but I couldn’t even log in to my page. I ended up posting on blogger instead. I’m actually at work (on my off day) trying to catch up on some paperwork that accumulated over my damn vacation. Grrrrr….. Bastards! I didn’t HAVE to come in to work today but that’s just how DEDICATED I am. Ha! And to think, “they” were hating on me being Investigator of the month. *sucking teeth*
I guess the good thing about coming into my office is that I can actually check my email as well as post. Seeing as though, I’m having issues with my computer at home. I posted about my computer issues on blogger since I couldn’t log on to blogsome earlier. I was using somebody else’s computer. Look at me…..I’m a computer whore. I’m hopping from computer to computer and if I’m lucky, I’ll be on another computer tonight! LOL Rrrraaaa *sexy cat purr* HA!

I forgot to mention that upon my return back to work, I received a memo in my box stating that I was nominated for Investigator of the month. (July) *clapping* Ok…I was kind of happy about it. Part of me was surprised and part of me wasn’t. I was surprised because it seems as if my work is never recognized. I was not surprised because I know that I bust my ass last month clearing cases. Clearly, I deserved it but my goal was not to get recognition. I was just doing my job.
To say that I was actually really happy would be a lie. I wasn’t disappointed either. Can you tell that I was experiencing ambivalent feelings? Why couldn’t I just accept it, realize that I had done a job well done and move on? *shrugs* Probably because I was feeling like my co-workers were probably saying, “How the hell did she make investigator of the month?” Did I mention that I am the only female investigator in my office?
Anyway, there was not a big announcement about me making investigator of the month. Nor did I broadcast it or stick that damn “memo” on the wall for everybody to see. Not that I felt the need to be recognized. But you know what I mean? *wondering* Why in the hell couldn’t I get a real “certificate of appreciation.” Go figure.
Ok. That was Tuesday. Today….I was sitting at my desk bright and early (as always) when my supervisor came in and said, “Hey…I need to run something by you.” He was trying to prepare for our departmental monthly meeting so he didn’t have time to elaborate. BUT me being the nosey and insistant person that I am, I asked him to just tell me what it is about.
Well. Appararently, our zone commander pulled him to the side yesterday while they were at yet another meeting and discussed a few issues with him. One issue being me. Our zone commander advised my supervisor that it was brought to his attention by another “investigator” that I, in so many words, am assigned all of the easy to solve cases. As my supervisor went on, I kind of drifted off. I started thinking to myself, “Ain’t this a bitch?!? It’s funny that as soon as I get nominated for Investigator of the month, a muthafucka gotta damn complain. Hatin ass muthafuckas! *sucking teeth* I tried to NOT let it show that I was slightly perturbed. But it was hard as hell. While I wanted to go off, I had to contain my thoughts.

I feel like I can’t win for losing. It’s like, I already feel like I have to PROVE myself. The minute that I OUTSHINE muthafuckas (number wise - ‘cause you know it’s a numbers game) they want to complain about THAT shit. At first they tried to say that I didnt’ know what I was doing. This was when I first came to the unit. Sure. I had a lot to learn because I had never worked in that capacity before. I had never actually did any “investigating” before. Prior to coming to this unit, I was assigned to Narcotics. It goes without saying, that my workload in this unit is completely different from my workload in Narcotics. Ya think?

Anyway, I was never formally trained. What I learned, I learned from asking folks here and there. Even after then, I eventually got into my own groove of things and worked it out. Now here it is, a little after a year of being assigned to this unit, I am nominated Investigator of the month. Whoop-the fuck-eee. *weak crowd cheer*
Back to the other investigator’s comment about me getting all of the easy cases. For one, I don’t discuss my cases with anybody in my office unless I have a question. So how the fuck do they know what type of case I have and what I’m doing with them?!? Ok…I could go on and on. I won’t. Only because the shit ain’t gonna change. For as long as I remain in this male-dominated field, I will continue to run into shit like this. I know this. I do realize that this type of thing doesn’t always occur in male-dominated fields. I’m sure it happens in other work environments.

I even posed that question to my supervisor. How do the other investigators know what type of cases I am assigned? He made a comment that he doesn’t think that an investigator complained. He thinks that the assistant zone commander (my former lieutenant) was the one that said it. She probably saw the memo that my current lieutenant sent to the zone commander. Immediately, the hate began. This lady does not like me for some reason. Honestly, I believe she has a problem with Black women. I’m never one to really pull the race card, but I gotta do it this time. It’s totally obvious in the way she treats me and the other male investigators. I’ve spoken to other Black females that have worked with her and they have said the same exact thing. The more I think about it, the more I believe she is the one that made the comment. Only because she made similar comments when she was my lieutenant. *sucking teeth* I’m starting to believe that our zone commander just thought it was easier to pin the comment on an investigator instead of the assistant zone commander. Who knows?
You know what? I don’t even feel like talking about this shit anymore. My head is hurting just thinking about it. Mainly because I don’t know which way to spray my HATERCIDE. Should I spray it towards my fellow investigators or should I save a big ass dose of it for that damn lieutenant? Aww man. She is such a damn BITCH! Just EVIL for no reason! I wish I could just create a force field that surrounds me and keeps evil folks away from me. I am not the most religious person but I had to keep saying to myself today, “No weapon formed against me shall prosper.” I didn’t say it enough though because I’m still pissed and my damn head hurts.

Ahhh…..how MOTIVATING this job is!!! Can you hear all of the sarcasm in my voice? *cutting eyes*

This entrepreneurial itch is itching even more now….

Welcome to brownsugarenterprises2 at Blogsome.
Ok….. *trying to get settled* Home sweet home. I can’t say that I’m completely settled in. You know how it is when you first move. Shit is everywhere. LOL In this case, my mind is all over the place. There’s still a lot of construction going on over here. *smile*
Not to mention that I still have a whole lot of packing up to do at my other spot. *sigh*

Other than my recent move, nothing much is going on with me. I’m just trying to get back in the swing of things. Today is my first day back at work. I’ve been on vacation for a little over a week. Now I’m back to work - dealing with the hellraisers. It’s amazing how even though I was on vacation, my workload didn’t decrease at all. Why did I come back to a stack FULL of damn reports?!? *sucking teeth and mumbling under my breath* Damn bastards! It never ends.

At any rate, I need to make the best out of these two weeks without my son. I left him with my parents. I was supposed to come back last Thursday. But I decided to leave the following day. Then, the following day (Friday) I decided to leave the next day (Saturday). I did finally leave on Saturday before the butt crack of dawn. It was a teary departure. It always is. I hate leaving my family. I cried secretly in my bedroom before I even got up to get dressed. One because I was sad to leave my son and two, I was sad about leaving my parents. My mama does the same thing. *shaking head* She’ll go into a different room and then come out with her eyes all red and watery. My mama and I always cry. My dad never cries. He just says, “Ya’ll cut that out.” All the while, it’s quite obvious that he’s sad too. Funny thing is, the day before I packed up and actually pulled out. There were no tears then. I think that both me and my parents knew that I wasn’t leaving that day. I was at the gas station and called my parents. My mom answered the phone and I told her that I was trying to figure out if I should stay or leave. I was torn because I was getting a late start. It was already 12noon. Which would have put me in ATL 12 hours later. Well….10 1/2 hours later the way I drive. LOL *shaking head* I’m used to leaving EARLY in the morning. Which normally is the butt crack of dawn. tee hee hee
Anyway, I got off the phone with my mom and kept pumping gas. The next thing I knew, my mama pulled up at the gas station, talkin ’bout, “What are you going to do?” (with a smile on her face)
Of course, I decided to stay. I just wasn’t ready to go.
I’m not sure if it’s because I’m an only child or what. Every time we depart from one another, we always cry. I hate goodbyes. I really do. I’m actually trying to get my parents to move down here. I think they are thinking about it.

I think it would be good for them to be closer to their only child and only grandchild. *smile* We’ll see. That’s a work in progress. I’ve been really trying to convince them to move. Plus, the neighbors/neighborhood are just not the same. So it may be time for a change.

Anyway, I’m clearly just rambling. I actually didn’t plan on typing this much. As you can see these are just some random thoughts. I actually wrote this as if I was writing in an actual journal.